Frustrated Expectations

There are those who espouse "the philosophy of wee expectations." I remember that the first time I heard the phrase I was tickled by its juxtaposition of sublime and ridiculous terms. On reflection, I wonder whether there are not both sublime and ridiculous aspects of this lens through which one may view life. The carefully reasoned position of the disciples of this philosophy is that the less one expects, the less likely one is to be disappointed.

There is something to be said for limiting the possibility of disappointment. We all know the chagrin, the gnashing of teeth, the short fuse, the temptation to say things we will regret, that can accompany the experience of being let down. When the agent of disappointment is a friend, family member, or colleague, the underlying sense that we are unable to escape from the likely repetition of disappointment makes the experience bite sharply. It may be sublime to protect ourselves from being repetitively inconvenienced, taken for granted, hurt, or betrayed by other people. What is hard to believe sometimes is how much of our disappointment arises from wholly unconscious action on the part of others. For most people, malice is rarely involved -- just the normal, everyday lack of awareness that human beings bring to the party.

So it is more than a bit ridiculous to try to limit the possibility that we will be disappointed by other people, unless we are going to limit our engagement with the human race. Some of the wise meet this challenge with humor (the jesters); others with resignation (the saints); others with self-discipline (the masterful); and a fortunate few with the ability to overlook the faults of others (the enlightened souls).

It's still early enough in the year to think about resolutions for self-improvement. I wonder whether I can limit the amount of disappointment that I create for other people by becoming more aware of the present moment, and promising no more than I can deliver. The philosophy of wee expectations seems to me to be the refuge of the timid and the disappointed. The belief that all things are possible all the time flaunts the claims of reason. Right now, I value the middle range, free of both black disappointment and ungrounded, giddy flight. Wee expectations? I'm braver than that. No limitation? I'm too old for that. I believe in creating relationships, products, and processes that are better today than yesterday and planning to make them better tomorrow.